Parenting The Shy Child

This subject is interesting  not only  for me but for lots of parents with shy children.
I have a daughter  2 years and 9 months.
Shall I consider her shy at this age?
She is  shy with new people, with strangers, afraid to talk with them but after a while (half an hour or more) staying with them she is no longer shy but she is still afraid to talk. But she is not shy with other kids, with her friends.
I am thinking that she might be confused about the language. She is learning in the nursery English and Arabic. At home we are talking with her in our mother tongue: Romanian language .
Here is a compilation of some interesting paragraphs I have found on my research related to parenting a shy child.
Do you have a shy child?
Children are shy in different ways for different reasons each child  is different from the others.
Understanding the nature of your child’s shyness will help you develop a program geared towards your child’s specific needs.  Is your child shy in groups?  At parties?  Meeting new people?  In novel situations?  Or, pretty much everywhere?  Does your child have trouble eating in public?  Playing with other children?  Making phone calls?    Knowing the nature of you child’s shyness will help you identify the specific skills your child needs to be more at ease in social situations.
It saying  that the shyness is coming from parents, it is true? I think so. Also it saying that the parents to help their children  not to be shy they  have a social life, meeting people, inviting in your home friends, children .  Going out to dine, going to some spectacle for them.
Do . . .
  • Go first in social situations.  Be the first person to say “Hi,” to introduce yourself or to strike up conversations.
  • Make a list of the kinds of things you would like your child to feel comfortable doing (e.g., talking with other children, asking for help from store clerks, making phone calls, etc) and make a point of doing these things in front of your child.
  • Be friendly.  Routinely smile, say high and greet the people you see as you go through your day.
  • Compliment others often.  Notice what you like about people (friends, family and strangers alike).  Tell a stranger you like their hat or a friend how wonderful their dinner was.
  • Make an effort to help other people when you see they are in need.  Open doors for people, pick things up when people drop them or offer to carry things for friends.
  • Role model taking risks and learning from them. Help your children learn by making positive comments about how you felt while you did things.  Things like: “I thought that would be harder than it was.”  “That wasn’t much fun, but I’m glad I did it and got it out of the way.  At least now I don’t have to worry about it.”  Or, “That didn’t go as well as I thought it would, but at least I know what to do next time.”
  • Enroll in social skills classes and let your children know that you’re going.  Bring back the things you learn from class and share them with your family and friends.  I routinely encourage parents (shy or not) who take my social skills classes to practice their new found handshake, conversation and introduction skills with their children, friends and family.  Don’t be surprised if your new skills make great party conversation, too.  Most people struggle with social skills and are eager learn what you know so they can try it out themselves.  Show your children that learning new skills from a class is a good thing.
 Don’t . . .
  • Cross the street to avoid people you are too nervous to see.
  • Embarrass  your child in public.
  • Criticize people in public.
  • Berate yourself for having failed when you try things and they don’t turn out the way you would like.
  • Berate your children when they make a mistake. 

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